If you don't have anything nice to say....

I sort of wish people would live by this simple little rule. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep those thoughts to yourself, or change the subject! There are so many better things to talk about and discuss than the failures you recognize of those around you. Everyone makes mistakes so some times it is easy to find faults, so it can be hard to get out of the habit.

Now, I try my best not to judge people for judging others, because I do it too sometimes and I recognize it's a normal, human tendency and it's hard to stop. I try to stop myself, and I like to think I'm getting better at avoiding judgements and seeing people in a more positive light, but I think it's something we can all work on in some way or another though so I wanted to share some of my thoughts on this subject.. It's been on my mind lately as I've been contemplating various things.


When I was younger, probably 9 or 10, my dad and I had a short little conversation that helped to changed my perspective about people and I've never forgotten it. I don't know if he remembers it, but I do. So if you're reading dad, thanks! :-)
It went something like this:

Dad: What do you think of Scrooge??

Me: I don't know. I guess he was a mean, selfish, greedy man. He hated Christmas and didn't like to share or give to others in need.

Dad: Yes, that is what he WAS at the start of the story. Why is it that we always forget what happened at the end of the story? It seems to me that everyone forgets the most important part of this story. The ability for people to change the course of their lives and improve themselves. At the end of the story, Scrooge was a happy man who changed. He apologized to those around him and became a generous giver to the needy.


This helped me think about people differently ever since and now The Chirstmas Carol is one of my favorite Christmas stories. It reminds me of this conversation every year. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I know that I would not want to be judged on one thing I did or said in my life because I know I've done or said many things out of immediate emotion, or even things that were slightly thought out, that I regret and now see as not the best choice, so I try not judge anyone else for one or two things they did or said around me because they probably are not like that as a whole person. Even if someone appears to me to be consistently mean, rude, selfish or whatever... I always remind myself that I don't know why they are the way they are or if they are going through a hard time in their life. We all have the ability to change too and everyone has their own set of strengths and weaknesses. We can choose what we say and think about others and I think that is one of the most important things we can do in life. Learn to love one another, despite our weaknesses, shortcomings, and failures. And for myself, I also need to work on trying not to take things personally when people are trying to point out my own weaknesses or give me constructive criticism... because more often than not, they're right, and I need to do the scrooge like thing and make a change for the better.

So, moral of this post: let's all go be Scrooges... :-)